The future Mathur’s

Going off on Harvin’s post, as of now, I don’t have children either (thank God). Nevertheless, I think I’d make a great Dad. In fact, I want five children one day. All boys. No girls. I can’t imagine raising a daughter in a type of world we live in today. It would just give me unnecessary mental strain. I’m not going to lie, I’ve seen an episode of Sex and the City. I know what girls think and do these days.

But as far as my sons, I’ve already thought this through. They will all grow up and be part of my production team and listen to my instructions while I sit in my Director’s chair. Together we will produce blockbuster films. The following are descriptions of my future children:

My first child, Chicken McNugget Mathur, will be the sharpest tool in the shed: smart, organized, and extremely diligent. I will make him the Producer.

The second son, All-Star Mathur, will be very social and a team player. I will make him my right hand man as the Assistant Director.

My third son, Chapstick Mathur, will be extremely creative, as well as technically sound. He will be the artist and have total command of the film medium. I will make him the Director of Photography.

My fourth son, is going to be the core of this team. He will be eloquent and have an extreme command for rhetoric. He will get an 800 on his SAT Verbal and know how to charm the ladies using simply his words. Dump Truck Mathur will be my Writer.

Now statistically speaking, since I have all boys, one of them is bound to turn out gay for no apparent reason. This might make me uncomfortable at first, but I will soon get over it very quickly. I have nothing against being Gay, in fact I welcome it, because my fifth son, Champagne Supernova Mathur will be the most crucial part of the team as the Production Designer. He will make the sets elegant and extremely stylized.

The Mathur Production team is guaranteed to win Academy Awards. Just you watch.

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