If only, If only…

If I had three arms, I would…

• Be an amazing juggler.
• Shampoo my hair while petting a cat.
• Shift gears, hold the steering wheel, and talk on the cell phone while driving a Dump Truck on Highway 101 with no pants on.
• Sucker punch you four times in a row. You wouldn’t even know what hit you. And then once you finally did, I’d scream “Hey, I have three arms, isn’t that awesome!” You’d be like “Oh dude, for sure!” and then I’ll say “Cool, buy me an I-phone!” And then you’d have to buy me an I-phone.
• Be able to count to fifteen and then refuse to count to anything higher.
• Be a crazy break-dancing machine.
• Milk a cow twice as fast as you.
• Type and maneuver the mouse at the same time.
• Be amazing at Guitar Hero 3
• Hold two swords and a shield. Ultimate protection if I ever decide to become a knight.
• Confuse little children. Tell them my Dad was a squid and my Mom a turtleneck sweater.
• Have three girlfriends and it’d be okay.

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