Sammy Samosa

Its opening day for the 2008 baseball season today. I’m seriously giddy. No one will ever understand how I feel. From 1^st grade to high school the only thing I cared about was baseball. I don’t know how I got into college because the only thing on my mind was freshly cut green grass and shoving a packet of big league chew in my mouth.

I think the sexiest thing in the world is a cleanly fielded double play.

So as we speak, I’m watching Baseball Tonight on ESPN before the Washington Nationals vs. Atlanta Braves opening day game and they’re showing footage of the traditional “throwing of the first pitch by U.S Presidents” at baseball games. From all the footage, our current President, George W. Bush is by far the greatest first pitch-thrower of all time. Seriously a strike. Right on the money. Fireball. He made all the other presidents look like girls. I’ve never been so proud of my president before. Thank you ESPN.

Speaking of ESPN, whoever edits their montages is a freaking monster. Some of the clips are just crazy with some sick effects. Big ups to whoever handles that business.

I leave you with a commercial for my hometown team, the San Francisco Giants. If you want a laugh, go to a Giants game and interact with Lou Seal. Hands down the funniest mascot on the planet. This is why I love baseball

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Brain Fart

So I’ve been lagging on these posts and I apologize to the three of you that check this blog regularly for updates. Sorry Mom, Dad, and Nathaniel from Finland who stumbled on our website after thinking Harvin was his long lost twin sister.

But I’ve actually been busy this entire week. I shot and edited a music video for a South Asian artist named Svetha Rao which has kept me really busy. So don’t forget to check her song out called Ganges Flow on the Paridym Pictures website very shortly along with the several other productions we have lined up.

Anyway, I’m tired. Editing is exhausting. You go out and shoot all this footage, then have to sit down, organize, and dig through everything like a puzzle. I hate puzzles. Do I look like I want to do Sudoku full time? Seriously do I? Look at my face! Are you looking? Good, now back up, your breath smells.

Now don’t get me wrong, my editing skills are remarkable. I won’t even deny it. I am like an editing ninja. I can edit in my sleep. But when it comes down to it, I absolutely hate editing. Its time consuming and I don’t have the attention span for it.

This is a quick break down of the steps it takes me to edit a music video:

• Make a cut. Make two more cuts.
• Check my Gmail.
• Check facebook. See whose updated their profiles. See the new pictures. No way, Fredrick and Beatrice are now “in a relationship?” OMG!
• Sign on AIM.
• Wait for people to IM me.
• Get angry that nobody is IMing me.
• Get up and get some snacks/drinks.
• Come back, think of a blog post.
• Check facebook one more time. Notice that Fredrick and Beatrice have officially ended their relationship.
• Realize I haven’t had any friend request since last October.
• Realize I’m wearing my boxers inside out.
• Wait, why don’t I have a girlfriend?
• Get angry at the last three bullet points.
• Calm down.
• Become conscious of the fact that I run my own production company and get paid to be editing.

By the time I realize I have to be editing, twenty minutes have gone by and I’ve pieced together maybe three seconds of footage which I’m probably going to change in the final edit. Its more pointless than trying to teach George Bush what a pronoun is.

You know what else I never understood how to master? Halo for the X-box360. I don’t understand the controls which are apparently quite simple for a seven year old, who in three seconds can slash my head off with a sword. Why did they have to introduce another joystick? Now I have to control both X and Y body motions? WTF is that all about man! Screw that! Give me old school Goldeneye for N64 and I can rock house baby. When did video games become so complicated?

I challenge anybody who’s reading this to a Goldeneye match. License to Kill. Complex. First to ten kills. Name the time and place and I am so there. If I win, you give me twenty bucks. If I lose, I’ll make Harvin perform stand up comedy for free at your arranged marriage. Deal?

Now who’s ready to lose twenty? Nathaniel, you cannot participate.

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Beatles tribute

The Beatles go down in history as one of the most commercially successful bands of all time. Their music was revolutionary. For those who haven’t been exposed, here is a video to the popular song called Hey Jude, followed by a cover song done by a Korean baby in a diaper. Enjoy.

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That’s just Awkward

So I spent last weekend filming for a Honda Civic commercial that is due out soon. It was a 3 part webisode directed by Chris Robinson (ATL, Nas, T.I videos). I’ll keep you guys posted on when it’s out, but let me just say, I danced bhangra to dirty rap.

I am also hosting the Continuous Comedy show at the Hollywood Laugh Factory at 8pm this Thursday, March 29th at 8pm. To get on the discount guest list, email me at Harvin@pariandharvin.com.

Now to end this blog, here are some various awkward moments that we sometimes find ourselves in:

-Entering Large department store (i.e. Macy’s, JC Penny, etc) in the Bra’s section, and getting lost, with that look on your face that screams “I’m not a pervert! I’m trying to get out of here as fast as possible!”

-Being waved to, waving back with a smile, and realizing that person was waving to the person behind you.

-Sitting in a conference room, in one of those new leather chairs that makes you sound like you’re passing gas everytime you move. And you had to wear your leather pants on this day.

-Wishing someone a happy 22nd birthday when it’s their 23rd birthday.

-Wishing someone a happy 22nd birthday when its their 67th wedding anniversary.

and here is a video of a favorite comedian of mine, Zack Galifianakis looking awkward on the Ellen Degenerous show, not knowing what to do between the breaks.

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Get low

I didn’t want to reveal the source, but this is where we get our moves and grooves from.

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I believe

• I believe employees of Jack N’ the Box who work the night shift, especially at 3am, are more courageous than Roman gladiators.
• I believe R. Kelly cannot fly.
• I believe facebook.com is probably more addicting than smoking cigarettes.
• I believe God is the greatest screenwriter of all time and should win an Oscar for his screenplay called Life.
• I believe Big Foot is most probably a Punjabi man named Satwinder who likes to go on hikes.
• I believe that my Mom makes the best variety of Indian food on the planet.
• I believe dogs are better than cats.
• I believe in working with both HD and film mediums.
• I believe I could hit a home run 300 ft. with an aluminum bat off of a pitching machine.
• I believe there is so much yet to be discovered underneath the Ocean.
• I believe I could eat 16 Ferrero Rocher chocolates in one sitting if given the opportunity. They are so good!
• I believe there would be peace on this planet if everybody drank four beers and had break dance battles instead of starting wars.
• I believe that milk and sprite have the worst after-tastes.
• I believe that “Prior Planning Prevents Poor Performance.”
• I believe certain Indians should branch out and make white friends instead of hanging out amongst themselves.
• I believe in axe body spray, hoping one day to attract a plethora of females like the commercial promises.
• I believe in myself.

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Ameriquest commercials

Here are five hilarious Ameriquest commercials on the topic of judging too quickly!

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Monkey business

I swear on this, you can even ask my Dad who saw the following event unfold with his own eyes.

Quick synopsis. I was seven years old. Location: Chatarpur Mandir, New Delhi. I held an apple in my hand. A monkey ran up to me, gave me a giant hug, roundhouse kicked me in the face, and then stole my apple. I started to cry shortly thereafter.

True story.

Today, I’ve finally found the culprit and the mastermind behind these types of fanatic acts of violence. You’re going down monkey!

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Get it out of my face

There are two things in this world that I don’t understand: Jellybeans and NASCAR.

Jellybeans don’t taste good. I mean don’t get me wrong, I am big fan of chocolate and candy, but never understood why Jellybeans are still being manufactured today. For example, at my parents’ house, my mom always has a jar of Oreo cookies, a little bowl of jellybeans, and a basket of candy out on one of the side tables as you enter our house.

My mom is a teacher and little kids just adore my sister, so our house is periodically filled with little hooligans from the neighborhood that are two feet tall and run around with enough stamina to solve the world’s energy crisis.

I’ve noticed however, that these kids will run straight for either the cookies or dig around the candy basket until nothing but the yellow starbursts are left. Never have I seen my mom refill the little bowl of jelly beans.

Let me tell you why. They taste like stupid. That’s right, if stupid had a flavor it would be jellybean. If I eat one, nothing in my brain says, “hey, that was good. I want another one.” They feel waxy and some of the flavors are just plain ridiculous. I mean why would anyone eat a jelly bean that is banana, peanut butter, or get this, Jalapeño flavored! Get that out of my face dude.

Next topic, NASCAR.

I am a sports fanatic. I can watch any sport on television that is except for NASCAR. Watching cars go in circles for 500 laps does not seem entertaining unless every lap there is either a giant car crash or a clown that has to dodge the cars for his life. Maybe if NASCAR was just 10 laps and the cars had items they picked up like Mario Kart. I would watch NASCAR if NASCAR had red shells.

Maybe it’s a whole other experience being there and watching it. I’ll put it on my to do list. But until then, get that out of my face dude.

And don’t even get my started on okra or eggplant dishes.

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BRUUUAAHHHH

Its Bhangra season. I can feel it. I can hear it. I’ve been on YouTube all morning watching videos. Check out two of my favorite performances from LBC and Khalsa Junction.

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