What time is it?

The following event can happen at any given moment at any given time. Of course, I am talking about Chai Time.

Any Indian reading this blog understands that’s time of day where you have to stop whatever it is you’re doing and make yourself a cup of tea. Now I am not a big tea/coffee drinker, but have seen this happen with my own eyes. I’m not proud of it, but I guess I’ll share this secret of mine…

My parents are addicted to tea.

It’s no laughing matter. They’re up to four cups a day and its getting out of control. Initially I thought, hey, they’re just going through a phase, let them experiment, but now I am genuinely concerned.

They are so addicted that they actually get into fights about who will make the next cup of tea. They’ve been married 25 years now, and I’ll tell you a typical example: It is Saturday morning in the Mathur household. My dad is upstairs watching old Kishore Kumar classics on YouTube on his new macbook pro (which I think he loves more than me by the way) and my mom will be downstairs watching Namaste America.

All is peaceful and quite until all of a sudden my mom will turn to the left and yell “SUNNIYEEEE!!!!” Now this word in Hindi literally means “hey listen” but we Indians know what it really means when it comes down to chai. It means “Hey Fatso! Move your butt down here and make me a cup of tea!”

And my dad will come downstairs almost angry, with a frown on his face like he’s really upset. And he’ll come stand in front of my mom and be like “Excuse me. Did you forget yesterday? When Radha and family where over? Who made the tea?”

My mom glare at him and always say “That was the first time you’ve ever made tea…”

Now when arguments are not going their way, Indian uncles will always say one inspirational quote which they think will win the argument

My Dad responds, “Well the first time is the best time!”

Nobody knows what he means but he says it with such conviction that he thinks he knows what he’s talking about. But  after a five minute long banter, they forget about the argument and because they’re so addicted, one of the two will always end up making tea for the other.

This happens daily and Ive tried everything to get my parents off this Indian drug. Do they have a tea nicotine patch? Let me know, cause my parents need it.

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