I have a Dell laptop. It is probably the worst thing in the world. Not only is it slow and unresponsive after I open up two programs, but it takes twenty minutes to load. I bought it last year during the holiday season thinking that I’ll save money and get a cheap Dell laptop for just writing documents, scripts, and other little stuff.
It was the worst investment on my part. Anyway, I was dreaming like usual and this is what I would buy if someone randomly decided to give me the following amounts of money:
$10 - Chipotle burrito. Light on the beans, yes sour cream, and extra cheese please.
$100 - Get an oil change for my Honda Civic cause I need one and buy some new clothes since I have no sense of fashion and will periodically wear checked shirts from India that make me look like a lumberjack.
$500 - Invest in advertising for my production company. Oh that’s www.ParidymPictures.com if you don’t know. We specialize in viral advertising, commercials, music videos, short films and more! Don’t wait, check it out today!
$1000 - Laptop, desktop, or any software to enhance production. If I have money left over, buy a pet Cobra.
$5000 - Take a trip somewhere. Australia? Mongolia? Rhode Island?
$10,000+ - Buy a country and/or girlfriend, then invest in my short film.
Hey guys, so this is a really serious issue I’ve been having with my friend recently. We’ve been debating for quite some time now regarding the actual whereabouts of a sour/sweet sensation when it hits your mouth. It’s been an ongoing battle and we decided the best way to settle the score is to take a poll from you all.
So please be serious when voting. Trust me, this poll has the ability to cause world peace, so answer wisely. If its too hard, I suggest drinking some some expired guava nectar or a smoothie made of pure goat milk and ketchup.
So wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve posted a blog. I feel almost ashamed because I pride myself in being a regular content producer especially through this blog. Usually, every night before I go to bed, I’ll take my laptop and write a post for the next day. It keeps the content and creative juices flowing. But a lot of people have been asking me recently: “Pari why haven’t you posted anything? Your page is scattered with your old posts!”
Let me tell you why.
Being an adult sucks. If you’re reading this and below the age of 21, live it up, because once you hit that age where you enter the real world, it gets crazy. You have bills. You have to pay car insurance. Student loans. Parking tickets. Oh and to top it all off, I have no game whatsoever with the female race, which makes life twice as hard.
Anyway, so that’s the story. I’ve been busy managing my life. My production company has recently starting picking up speed, and I’ve fallen deep into the business side of the world which is both exciting and new since my background is heavily in the creative arts.
Its tough work which requires a lot of focus, but so far, I’ve been doing a great job managing my time. I think I have a great head on my shoulders and think I know what I’m doing (cross your fingers) in order to reach my goals. And I truly believe that with a stable mind, comes stable opportunities.
But there is one thing in life that I cannot manage, and that is my clothes. I do laundry, I hang them up in my closet, but somehow after two weeks, everything I put in order, ends up in the middle of my floor in a giant pile. I have no idea how this happens and absolutely no idea how to stop it. It’s the only thing in my life that I can’t organize. For example, when I come back from work, I usually go running. After I come back, I’m tired and hungry, and the last thing I want to do is spend 10 minutes organizing my clothes since I could be eating food and watching Baseball Tonight on ESPN instead. So what happens? I take a shower and my clothes end up on the floor.
Maybe I should change my habits? Screw it. The Giants will only win the pennant with my support.
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in a theater.
When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.”
The man groaned but didn’t budge.
The usher became impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have to call the manager.”
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success.
Finally, they summoned the police.
The cop surveyed the situation briefly then asked, “All right buddy, what’s your name?”
“Sam,” the man moaned.
“Where ya from, Sam?”
With pain in his voice Sam replied “The balcony.”
While my videos are rendering, I thought id hit a blog real quick. So a life update, I recently turned 24 last week.
I know, you don’t have to remind me how old I am.
Anyway, my license expired on my birthday so a few weeks prior I had to go renew it with the DMV. I could have done this through the mail but I desperately needed a new picture. You see, the picture that was currently on the license was from when I was 15 years old. It was the stage in my life where God was still messing with photoshop and decided it would be fun to make me look like an alien. Also, I passed my driving test really early in the morning which was surprising since I was still half asleep. And lastly, the lady who was taking the picture didn’t even do a count down to tell me she was taking the picture. She just said “stand there please” and then CLICK! I wasn’t even ready for it so the picture just looks like I’m half constipated, half looking to the left.
This time around, I went during my lunch break. First of all, I stood in line because I didn’t have an appointment, and when I came to the counter finally, the man said, “How can I help you?” I looked around and said “Yes, I will have a bowl of pho, a bean burrito, and a samosa with green chutney.” Well I didn’t really say that, but I thought it in my mind because surrounding me were only Vietnamese, Mexican, and Indian races. There is nothing wrong with that, but its just fun to see white people being a minority in the Bay Area.
Anyway, so after I ate my food, I got called up to the counter where I paid the renewal fee, took care of the paperwork, and went for my picture. I stood in line and watched other people take their picture. Some smiled. Some didn’t care. Some were ecstatic. Some just looked like they had to go to the bathroom. Finally it was my turn.
I walked up with a smile so not be caught off guard. The lady behind the counter clicked the photo and that was that. After the flash, I asked her “Can I see it?” She stared at me like I was speaking fluent Korean slang in a Swedish chocolate factory. She turned to me and glared. With her nose flaring she replied “If I show you, then everyone will want to see their picture. We don’t have time for that!”
I took a deep breath and walked away. There was nothing I could do. I would have to wait.
After two weeks, it finally it came. I looked at the envelope and slowly opened it. In my mind, my thoughts were racing as to what sort of mythological creature I might resemble.
Surprisingly, it didn’t turn out as bad as I thought. I am half smiling with eyes half open, and my hair looks like I’m a software engineer from Bangalore. Nothing wrong with that. Chicks dig software engineers from Bangalore.
My name is Pari and that’s my story.
If you have a funny DMV license story, let us know @ pandh@pariandharvin.com!
As Harvin pointed out previously, I am a bad speller. Even though I am thorough and eloquent in my narrative expression, I believe the cause for my terrible spelling is due to the fact that I never double check (which I am working on by the way) and because I am a fast typer (typist?)
Because I run my own company, I send a lot of emails to clients in a professional and articulate manner. So as a habit to rid myself of any grammatical errors, I usually pop open Microsoft word and type my thoughts and responses to catch any flaws in my writing.
Today morning, I was writing a really long response to a client and had everything I needed to say ready in my mind. It was early in the morning and I was basically just regurgitating everything when I suddenly looked down at my hands which were going crazy! Have you ever observed your own hands typing? Its phenomenal! How do my hands and mind know where to go? Even as I type this I am looking down at my hands which seem to be programmed to know where every letter is. I don’t even have to think about it, they’re just doing it! And they do it with such precision and speed that it’s no wonder I am a bad speller.
My Dad is also a fast typer (typist?). He, however, coming from India, doesn’t have any formal typing training like I do. The way he types is hard to explain through this blog, but is simply amazing nevertheless. He basically uses his left hand for simple maneuvers like shifting and hitting letters surrounding the letter S. But with his right index and middle finger he does the rest, like going from an R to an M in split seconds. Mind boggling!
But now that I think of it, he is also a bad speller as well. So maybe my luck with spelling is most probably genetic rather than my lighting speed typing skills. I also really hope there are no spelling errors in this blog. That would be really embarrassing .
Its opening day for the 2008 baseball season today. I’m seriously giddy. No one will ever understand how I feel. From 1st grade to high school the only thing I cared about was baseball. I don’t know how I got into college because the only thing on my mind was freshly cut green grass and shoving a packet of big league chew in my mouth.
I think the sexiest thing in the world is a cleanly fielded double play.
So as we speak, I’m watching Baseball Tonight on ESPN before the Washington Nationals vs. Atlanta Braves opening day game and they’re showing footage of the traditional “throwing of the first pitch by U.S Presidents” at baseball games. From all the footage, our current President, George W. Bush is by far the greatest first pitch-thrower of all time. Seriously a strike. Right on the money. Fireball. He made all the other presidents look like girls. I’ve never been so proud of my president before. Thank you ESPN.
Speaking of ESPN, whoever edits their montages is a freaking monster. Some of the clips are just crazy with some sick effects. Big ups to whoever handles that business.
I leave you with a commercial for my hometown team, the San Francisco Giants. If you want a laugh, go to a Giants game and interact with Lou Seal. Hands down the funniest mascot on the planet. This is why I love baseball
So I’ve been lagging on these posts and I apologize to the three of you that check this blog regularly for updates. Sorry Mom, Dad, and Nathaniel from Finland who stumbled on our website after thinking Harvin was his long lost twin sister.
But I’ve actually been busy this entire week. I shot and edited a music video for a South Asian artist named Svetha Rao which has kept me really busy.So don’t forget to check her song out called Ganges Flow on the Paridym Pictures website very shortly along with the several other productions we have lined up.
Anyway, I’m tired. Editing is exhausting. You go out and shoot all this footage, then have to sit down, organize, and dig through everything like a puzzle. I hate puzzles. Do I look like I want to do Sudoku full time? Seriously do I? Look at my face! Are you looking? Good, now back up, your breath smells.
Now don’t get me wrong, my editing skills are remarkable. I won’t even deny it. I am like an editing ninja. I can edit in my sleep. But when it comes down to it, I absolutely hate editing. Its time consuming and I don’t have the attention span for it.
This is a quick break down of the steps it takes me to edit a music video:
Make a cut. Make two more cuts.
Check my Gmail.
Check facebook. See whose updated their profiles. See the new pictures. No way, Fredrick and Beatrice are now “in a relationship?” OMG!
Sign on AIM.
Wait for people to IM me.
Get angry that nobody is IMing me.
Get up and get some snacks/drinks.
Come back, think of a blog post.
Check facebook one more time. Notice that Fredrick and Beatrice have officially ended their relationship.
Realize I haven’t had any friend request since last October.
Realize I’m wearing my boxers inside out.
Wait, why don’t I have a girlfriend?
Get angry at the last three bullet points.
Calm down.
Become conscious of the fact that I run my own production company and get paid to be editing.
By the time I realize I have to be editing, twenty minutes have gone by and I’ve pieced together maybe three seconds of footage which I’m probably going to change in the final edit. Its more pointless than trying to teach George Bush what a pronoun is.
You know what else I never understood how to master? Halo for the X-box360. I don’t understand the controls which are apparently quite simple for a seven year old, who in three seconds can slash my head off with a sword. Why did they have to introduce another joystick? Now I have to control both X and Y body motions? WTF is that all about man! Screw that! Give me old school Goldeneye for N64 and I can rock house baby. When did video games become so complicated?
I challenge anybody who’s reading this to a Goldeneye match. License to Kill. Complex. First to ten kills. Name the time and place and I am so there. If I win, you give me twenty bucks. If I lose, I’ll make Harvin perform stand up comedy for free at your arranged marriage. Deal?
Now who’s ready to lose twenty? Nathaniel, you cannot participate.
The Beatles go down in history as one of the most commercially successful bands of all time. Their music was revolutionary. For those who haven’t been exposed, here is a video to the popular song called Hey Jude, followed by a cover song done by a Korean baby in a diaper. Enjoy.